Avatar of Angry Joe Posted on: Tuesday, December 30th, 2008 Author: Posted in: News Comments: 18
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Starcraft 2 – One Game, Three Parts? Bullsh*t!

So by now if your into PC Gaming at all you’d know that Blizzards Starcraft 2 awaits sometime later this Year. What you may not have heard (or are trying to ignore with the hopes that blizzard pulls their head outta their ass) is that they plan to take the Core Game and Split it into three parts. Forcing you pretty much buy all three parts in order to get just the Core Games “Experience” and Story (and god knows how many expansions are already planned).

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You could end up spending $60 on the “1st Third”, another $60 on the “2nd Third”, $60 more on the Final “3rd Third”…THIRD THIRD! (please excuse the LAME joke its the only way I can deal with this Insanity!). $180??!? PLUS Expansions maybe another $60 for two or more!?!?

HONESTLY, I mean I should have expected it after they are raking in GAH-BUH-GILLION Dollars with World of Warcraft: The Destroyer of Real Social Lives Edition, but I guess I thought maybe, just maybe, after that they’d make this one For the Fans, and not pull some Money Making Scheme outta their ass.

I can just see it now, all the Corporate Exec’s hovering over the Game Developers…

CORPORATE OVERLORDS

Well we are raking in $15 a month from every WoW player, and your telling me you want to sell the most popular RTS for $60 straight up?

BLIZZARD DEV TEAM

Yes!

CORPORATE OVERLORDS

Technically thats only a WoW subscription for just 4 months.

BLIZZARD DEV TEAM

Its a Thank You to all our fans for WoW and for waiting so long for Starcraft to Return! YAY!

CORPORATE OVERLORDS
(looks at them with disgust)

Riiiiiight. Your joking? Starcraft is a Life Style in Korea, If we sold Starcraft 2 toliet paper for $50 a roll they’d wipe their asses with it!

BLIZZARD DEV TEAM

That’s not the point here.

CORPORATE OVERLORDS

Yes. Yes it is. I tell you what, lets take the game, split it up into 12 parts, charge $39.99 each part, and then release expansions at about $29.99 each part! We could sign up with Burger King too and have the King as a playable human unit, he serves hamburgers to the zerglings to calm them the FUCK down! That sounds perfect right!??! Took us a brainstorm session earlier of 15 hours to come up with it.

BLIZZARD DEV TEAM

What? No. Fuck No. That sounds Terrible. One Game, One Thank you, then Expansions.

CORPORATE OVERLORDS

Fine, 8 Core Games, $29.99 a piece then 4 expansions at $19.99 and Happy Meal Toys.

BLIZZARD DEV TEAM

3 Core Games. and Expansions.

CORPORATE OVERLORDS

SOLD!

EVERYONE ELSE

OH, WHAT THE FUCK! Now I GOTTA Wait over the course of 3 years for a Single Game to “Finish” coming out in Parts?! Are you Shitting mE?! And I’ve got to spend 3x what I thought I was going to? I’ll be broke like a JOKE!

They do it. And become Broke Like a Joke.

Doesn’t anyone else think this is bullshit? There are upsides to it I suppose, getting more story and more In-Game Videos, but they could have done that in traditional Expansions for cheaper too, without having to makes us wait for the Next Races Story.
And By God if they Force you to buy a Particular Races “Core Game” just so you can play with that particular race online I’ll make another video and Flip a Shit. Any of those Core Games BETTER Include ALL Races for Online Play from the Start, No Matter What. You Hear Me? Or I’ll have to send out the Order To Mobilize Our AngryJoeArmy!

- Angry Joe