I Can’t Find My Socks.

There is something devious going on in this world. I don’t know if anyone is paying attention or not, but there is a dark mystery surrounding socks.
I myself am very neat and organized in my home. I wash all my own clothes and I take care of my stuff. However, every few months I have to buy a new pack of socks! What the Hell is going on here? I know I wash my socks. I pair them up and put them away. So where exactly are my socks going? How do they get lost so often?This is a world wide phenomenon. I am not the only one who has socks go missing on regular occasions. So what is the deal?

Here’s my theory.

There is a sock demon worshiping cult out there that is endowed with alien technology. In order to appease their sock demon, they have to shrink themselves and sneak into houses and steal peoples socks while dressed as sock monkeys. Sock monkey’s in houses are simply advanced spies sent to spy on the socks in the house. Clean. Dirty. They don’t care. It’s like they are evil versions of Santa Claus. They use the alien tech to sneak into houses and steal everyday instead of sneaking into houses and leaving gifts once a year. 

I thought about setting up traps for the little bastards. I spread fly paper around my laundry but caught nothing but some tiny shoes. They are good. Then I tried to infiltrate their recruiting organizations. No luck there. They don’t advertise like the army does. Wouldn’t it be funny if they did? We want you for the sock stealing cult. I could see that. Or the few, the proud, the sock stealer’s.

Well that’s my theory. I want to hear about yours. Someone out there is bound to know the truth of this mystery, and they will keep getting away with it if it isn’t for us pesky kids.

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