Avatar of Angry Joe Posted on: Sunday, March 1st, 2009 Author: Posted in: Top Lists Comments: 22

Top Reasons Empire: Total War Kicks Ass


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Strategy Fans Rejoice! The Time is almost upon us, Empire: Total War is set to release on Wednesday, March 4th! and I for one will be counting the Hours! I’ve bought each and every game in the Total War series and each one continues to improve on the last, Creative Assembly is one of the few developers I know who can do that consistently time and time again!



In this Epic Extended Top Reasons Video we look at 5 Reasons the Game Kicks Ass. We pulled out all the stops and rented period costumes for this one folks. We got, Murder, Massive 18th Century Battles, Whores, Diplomatic Insults, Gentleman’s Duels, Time Traveling Colonial Soldiers, Pirates and Finally An Awards Ceremony! If you liked the video let us know in the comments! Especially if you want to see more like this!

We were able to go all out on this video with two Donators who contributed to the site about a month ago! Combined with my own money and your generous help I said F’ it lets go all out! We rented out these awesome costumes and bought those toy muskets and pistols! Without your donations this video wouldnt have been possible and frankly would have sucked much worse!

Thank you Guys!

Donations from our viewers allows us to greatly improve the quality and scope of parody sketches we can do!
I was never big on asking for anything, but the video turned out great, so I want to personally thank both Mark and Michael from the UK, you guys kick ass in my book! Thanks so much!

If your scratching your head saying to yourself, “Hey wait a minute, damn joe is pretty confident this game will be good, I mean he even awarded it the RTS Game of the Year for 2009, when its not even out yet!”

Your Damn Right I Did! Wanna fight about it? You’ll see, just you wait! It will win that category from the bigger guys, It will have that nice shiny badge soon from those major reviewers, but already it has one from AngryJoe (now lets see if they put that sticker on her package!)

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And Sega needs the success, Total War is a money maker for them and they know it. Hopefully it will do well enough that they will put money towards the Aliens: Colonial Marines game and Its RPG counter-part. But enough of that Blabber! Lets talk us some Empire!

Empire: Total War is a game I’ve been wanting them to do since shogun, I’m not sure why, but I’m a HUGE fan of 18th Century Warfare, I love any historical show on the history/military channel about the time period and i’ve seen most major motion pictures that depict it. Those men were lions! to have the courage to walk in a tight formation, straight into a mass volley of lead only 30-50 feet away. Amazing!

I can lose myself in a game like this for days, weeks and pick it back up after months. The guys at Creative Assembly must never friggin’ sleep! We’ve got a stream-lined campaign map, new naval battles, improved AI , a new Agents system, and so much more! But the biggest news for me is the fact that port-release they are including a Multi-player Campaign System! so far its only 1v1, but holy hell ive been wanting this feature since Shogun! I’m so glad its here.

Now I would have just box the frakking game cuz’ its got the Total War label which oozes quality, but after reading off all the new features my head just exploded. If your a strategy fan, and you DON’T buy this game – you better have a DAMN good reason not to!

Wanna see more videos like this? Donate and tell us what you want to see!

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Top Reasons Empire: Total War Kicks Ass, 8.0 out of 10 based on 11 ratings