Posted on: Tuesday, July 31st, 2012
Posted in: News
Comments: 29
DOA5 Bikini Bunnies Fight for your Pleasure
As if your loyal penis expected otherwise, Dead or Alive 5 is once again delivering the anatomically impossible goods.
Plus, as the only rabbit person on the internet, I am increasingly disappointed with the lolbunny to lolcat picture ratio; it’s way, way off and quite frankly, I am not pleased.
Team Ninja is aware of my distress as they’re showing some bonus bunny love to those who pre-order Dead or Alive 5. Kasumi, Hitomi, and Lei Fang are on team GameStop “DOA Angels” and will sport the white bunny costume, whereas Christie, Tina, and Ayane will entice in a black bunny costume for team Amazon “DOA Devils.” Listening to these women shout their spastic victory phrase is giving me heartburn.
Either way, a purchase will grant heaps of pixelated, jellyfish-textured mammaries wrapped in questionable fighting attire. I’M ALL ABOUT TEAM CHRISTIE, MAN.
[Source: Shoryuken]
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29 thoughts on “DOA5 Bikini Bunnies Fight for your Pleasure”
just another great reason to buy this game besides it being doa the greatest fighting game ever made
why you just don’t skip making games & go straight to the porn you ovbiously want to make fapping material XD
You know, it’s just sad that this is all they can come up with as a pre-order bonus…I mean…really? THATS IT!?
I couldn’t be more less interested if they made a pre-order bonus that’s a mini game in the form of SLAPPING PEOPLE WITH A LARGE TROUT!…….actually that’s more interesting, can we get that instead?
….no. But in all seriousness, we might as well just play DOA beach volleyball, cause this is pathetic.
well to be honest.. i dont know what you are bitchin about..
women in bikinis fighting.. so what?..
as like u never saw women in bikinis..
take the hands out of the pants..
D.O.A was good till D.O.A 2 ant the boob jiggling thing was nice..
but i dont like it anymore cause the whole game will be reduced to shit like this..
women in hot bikinis.. are we that stupid and blind that we only see titts?..
i wont buy this game..
judge me as muc u want but this has very less to do with a beat em up anymore..
well…no comment
Lei Fang in a nice pajama and I’m satisfied.
I can’t wait for … not bikini, but for your next Review, Angry Joe!
(However, the next game to be reviewed is Sleeping Dogs… at least a decent one…)
TekkenTagTournament 2 has an online pass and 150 bikini’s free on day 1 buy.
Seems the competion has gotten hotter!
My friend thinks of the black ones are over grown pubes. lol at him.
I actually noticed the flamingos in the background before the bunny bikini.
And all the gamer chicks of the world sigh in unison.
In all seriousness though… where are the hot, muscle men in speedo bonuses? I feel so left out. I mean, who wouldn’t want to see Bill is some sexy string thongs puffing on cigar in all his glory? MMmmMM!
probably a stright male like me lol
This is a good point. There’s an unequal amount of representation. It alienates women and gay gamers. Some consider these kinds of games to be sexist because of this and they’re kind of right. What, men can’t be sexy? I’d totally buy Super Speedo Fighter too if there was a fair balance of sexiness between both genders and good gameplay.
Meh don’t get me wrong, I could use a little less “OOh! We made this awesome bonus with … well.. it’s just lots of titties… but oooh look!” But I ain’t the type of gal that get’s my panties in a wad when I see hot chicks in skimpy outfits in video games. I’m a fantasy artist by trade, so drawing hot chicks in skimpy armor is sorta my bread n’ butter.
However, when a game uses titties as it’s ONLY form of “fun marketing” It just kinda makes us chicks who also enjoy fighter games and shooter games and other such games, feeling left out of the whole “fun.”
I loved killing zombies with a giant pink dildo in Dead Rising. I didn’t mind picking up hookers in GTA or paying for a lap dance. But come-on! If you’re gonna give us a bonus to make us go buy a game, make it appealing to both or give us an option for either a hot girl on girl action or some hot man n’ loincloth fight’n!
WELL, bunnies are my favorite animals.
And, no it’s not because of them constantly humping each other.
You win my very prestigious internet award.
Whilst thou hand me the excalibur now, because I will smite the evil for my beloved mods!!
Jk jk.
Let’s eat some carrots, with our pet bunny’s, to improve our eyesight ok?
We need to recover the bad image of bunny’s.
LETS MAKE PLAYBOY CHANGE THEIR LOGO.
I love how the actual fighting game aspect of the series has taken a backseat to the ridiculous boobie physics.
Bunnies!
long time fan here but …
i need more Angry Joe in my life!!! man … ide love to just see some more video content regularly posted. i always feel so sad coming here day after day and not seeing any new reviews/videos getting posted.
i really feel like you are up there with Giant Bomb as far as the industry is concerned and your love for gaming but DUDE!? more content!!!
i want to see you/this site get so much bigger than it is and im positive that content is the way to go. you should totally hook up with the Giant Bomb crew or something, maybe be on one of their amazing podcasts to try and boost traffic, idk. anyways, thanks for doing what you do! one of the best in the biz for sure.
i guess we need to talk dude
Way to confuse my sex drive, Team Ninjer… On the one hand, Hitomi is my favourite DOA girl, Lei Fang was at one time my favourite, and Kasumi is a part-time nudist… on the otherhand, Ayane is tied for largest canon bust, Christie was the first to provide the series with poledancing, and I simply cannot stand Tina. This is going to be one hell of a decision…
So after all that talk from the new head of Team Ninja about how the game is going to be less boobies and more actual fighting game..
*sigh*
XD
I wonder if their costumes will be breaking, like in MK and how they will make it with this bikini.
*sigh and facepalm*
The Perverted side of me: Ooohh! Sexy bunnies!!!!
The Gamer side of me: Wow, those are some pretty good fighting mechanics.
Must… pre-order!
I’m just going to leave this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIy5Q3EB6ec
right here for those who like both DOA and Final Fantasy.
Damn that is fucking awsome