Assassin’s Creed III Angry Review
Release Date: October 31st, 2012
Platform: Xbox 360, PS3, Wii U, Windows PC
Developer: Ubisoft Montreal & Quebec
Publisher: Ubisoft
Genre: Action Adventure
Players: 1 Offline Player, 8 Online Players
Amigo Toyota discovers the secrets of the Animus while Angry Joe Reviews the largest Assassin’s Creed to date, but does bigger really equal better here? Find out!
- Related Posts:
-
Metro: Last Light Angry Review
May 17, 2013
-
Guns Of Icarus TGS Battle Royale!
May 11, 2013
-
Angry Rant: Metro LL Charges $5 for Hard Mode!
May 11, 2013
-
Guns of Icarus Preview & Kickstarter
May 8, 2013
Gaming Comics
Glue
Unjust Battles
The Confessionist
Fight the Biscuit!
Crummy Deal
Recent Reviews
- Metro: Last Light Angry Review
May 17, 2013 
Star Command iOS Angry Review
May 6, 2013
Star Trek The Game Angry Review
April 30, 2013
Injustice Angry Review
April 19, 2013
Defiance Angry Review
April 12, 2013
Partners
229 thoughts on “Assassin’s Creed III Angry Review”
Joe, a few tips regarding long hair:
You are wearing your hair wrong. You should let the individual hairs go UP, over the top of your head, not down as you let them now. The way you wear it now is making you look like a weeny, not a MAN-lion the long hair is supposed to create. To turn youself into a MAN-lion, take all that hair from your temples and shove it up and over the head. Also, you will need to develop the subtle method real man walk. I suggest walking in the wind and developing that awesome feel for the hair flying through the wind, let the muscles tell you how they want you to carry them. Of course, you need real long hair for that to work, so there is that small snag.
Also, if you are planning on growing a long, lush and flowing hair that will make all men (except those who themselves have long, lush and flowing hair) and women turn green with envy, know that it will take you three years to grow it to fullness. Also, I would suggest not cutting it AT ALL during this time, or at least during the last few months of growing it because that way, you will perserve the natural and very durable hair tip, so your hair will not splinter at the tops.
Note that you will also probably need some way of holding the front hairs during the time they are just long enough to get in your eyes, but not long enough to reach below them.
I really want him to do halo
Well my whole Connor being bad came true, sure he was a good character but all in all he acted like a zombie lol showing no emotion basically he is an emo kid with issues but dressed like an assassin lol, and also with Desmond this is the cheapest ending we ever got in the whole series and so i hope and pray that Ubisoft when doing AC 5 does things a little bit better, and as for the rest of the negative stuff i will say i have to agree with them on all accounts especially when the trailer showed us that Connor can go anywhere in on a major battlefield lol i think the segments are like the “tower defenses” in AC: Revelations as a replacement only we take the offensive lol and it was clear that the trailer had false advertisement hmmmmm what does that remind me of?……oh yeah the Kinect lol
I can’t do massive slaughter like in the trailer? Screw that. I’ve been wanted this thing most of all.
Though to add on what I said earlier, AC3 seems to be in that gaming purgatory of where the game’s flaws and disappointment hold back your enjoyment of the gaming experience, but it’s not bad enough where you can complain about it and really call it a bad game. It’s almost like Saints Row The Third in that regard.
Nice review Joe!I agree with all the things you say about this game.And I must add that the freeruning is very problematic in this game, my character sometimes sticks in places I dont want him to.As for Connor I believe he is a more mature and experienced assassin(that is what they are trying to show as at least), he is a very good character but very poorly used.And I realy loved the freeflow fighting system.Thank you for another great review.
Panos from Greece salutes you.keep up the good work!
I think Joe gave this game too much leeway. I mean yeah it’s an Assassin’s Creed game and I’ve been a fan of the franchise since the beginning, but this game just feels rushed out the door for the holiday season. It’s sort of a hard call to make, but I don’t think the online and naval combat make up for more than half the game being dull and buggy.
By the way (last time) americans (in general…) are only happy when they see images like the Eiffel Tower being destroyed, Paris being nucked, Rome being flooded, the Taj Mahall being demolished… that’s the kind of respect you have for culture. So why are you so scandalized when they fuck you tiny little history? Around the world everyone laughs about american history because the rest of teh world have countries with millenium-long history lines. America isn’t the centre of the world, BUT WE DO LOVE YOU There was a time that america simbolized freedom, but not because of your histoyr, but because you where like…. toodays Moon and international space station.
Thumps up!!!!!!!!!!!!
…I will not develop on that, but isn’t it much more terrible to see Leonardo Da Vinci portrayed like this stupid Gyro Gearloose and Ezio flying on one of his flying machines. THAT wasn’t laughable? God, you americans are ignorant as hell, but YOU have no excuse Joe.
And you somehow know what Leonardo Da Vinci was actually like? Can I borrow your animus? By all historical accounts he was probably a Bi-Polar closet homosexual. Its in the history books, in black and white. That doesn’t diminish the fact that he did incredible work far beyond most humans of the time. In fact most true geniuses end up being insane nutballs. Look at Tesla, Howard Hughes etc.
“It makes it laughable when Connor takes credit in winning these battles and making these events happen in american history” – yeah Joe… because fucking american history is so important(!), in fact, much more important than Renaissance and the Crusades!??
For crying out loud, this was always the stupid focus of these games. You redneck americans don’t realising it till yet is MUCH MORE LAUGHABLE.
PS: (my mother tongue is not english, so please leave my feeble attempt pass on that)
Dude….idk what country you’re from, but American history is important to Americans, and the revolution had lasting changes worldwide. Of course it isn’t as pivotal as say Word War II, the fall of Rome, or even like you said, the crusades, but it holds its place in history….so please, do us all a favor and shut the hell up. :/
In that same period, the French Revolution was much more relevant to world’s history (you can see that in any history book, you see, History Channel isn’t a reliable source of information…). Shutting-myself-the-hell-up is a pretty strong argument, I guess… and no, I’m not french. That, by american standards, would have made me a homossexual, and everyone knows what a big insult that is to american masculinity. Being raised with american garbage since my childhood I, myself, have my own limitations… I can’t deny that, but what would westerns, star wars, disney, super-heroes, knightraider and the a-team and all that shit do to a young person? If I’m a little bit stupid I guess I would have to thank american culture for that.
You are a LOT stupid, and I don’t think American culture had anything to do with that.
Oh and BTW the french revolution didn’t really even start till 6 years AFTER the revolutionary war ENDED. And not to put too much of an American spin on this but the American revolution was one of the main causes for Bankrupting France and causing the French Revolution in the first place.
“the American revolution was one of the main causes for Bankrupting France and causing the French Revolution” – I guess each one enhances the facts that best suits you… and since the U.S. ruled the world over the last century, the conception of History has adapted to your point of view.
Of course you’re right (in part) on your argument but, nevertheless, you always have to put yourself in the perspective of the ones that lived before you. For instance, from the 16th century till the 19th, the New World was only seen has a main source of european profit, nothing else. Even if you, americans, like to think that your “revolution” had a big impact on european history, the fact is that you can always see the other way around: England was so concerned with european internal affairs that didn’t even gave to much importance to the new world colonies. It’s a matter of perspective. I was being sarcastic because the way americans enhance their little patriotic tales is laughable. Only after the Industrial revolution did the U.S. take an important role on world history… yours was the 20th century, but nothing more.
Ignorance at its finest. If you want to call yourself stupid then fine, but don’t blame it on American culture for it has produced some great minds. And the reason Angry Joe didn’t like Connor taking credit for the battles was not because they were so important to the world but because Connor hardly did anything. Anyone could have done what Conner did in those battles. And why did you even bring up world history? Last I checked this game took place in AMERICA so of course they would be important to show them not for America but for the people playing them.
American culture has produced great ideas for making profit. The minds were oftn borrowed (bought?) from Europe, Asia… don’t be naive.
Thomas Edison was a Asian scientist Dinis? I had no ideal.
To quote your own words “don’t be naive.”
It’s been said before but after all the terrible kinect games we saw lately it would be nice to see a Fable: The Journey review = D. Keep up the good work Joe!
i.e. I am not implying that it is a good game but I sure would like to hear Joe’s opinion about it before purchasing it! BTW 15 $ at Walmart next week for any of you lucky guys in the US…
The only reason I was at all interested in this game was the naval combat. As you pointed out, it might be worthwhile to try and create a whole game with that kind of focus.
The game could be beater but it one of those times no matter how the game series or movie series or a t.v. series sucks you just want to see how it all ended.
p.s. assassin’s creed revelations sunk the the AC series AC 3 just finished the job of killing the series.
I actually thought the gameplay and story in Revelations was far better than Brotherhood. That game was just a huge rehash of AC2 and a money grab to get you waiting on Revelations. There was not a single thing that happened in ACBH that they couldn’t have put into AC2 and taken out some of the less important kills.
Why can’t the main character assassin in the campaign be a woman? That would have been really interesting… you could have disguised yourself as a whore then walked in and killed someone, things like that. Or suddenly slaughter a group of men that were harassing you or underestimating you. But no, they reserve that for multiplayer. Why? Regardless, I have zero interest in this game. I played the first 2 and that was enough for me. I don’t need AC in the woods and piloting ships.
I also knew the story was a big mess that wasn’t going to get anywhere or ultimately pay off. Why couldn’t they just have a story take place in historic times and NOT have this PoS Desmond character at all? Why do we need the memory machine? Why do we need modern day here at all? Why can’t we just play the assassins, on their own, without it being a flashback? Joe’s Matrix reference was spot on. You’re playing a fun game… then they snap you back to the “real world” that didn’t even need to be a part of the game at all, forcing you to walk around as this asshole Desmond until you can get back into the machine and enjoy the game again. It’s like a guy taking your game away, IRL, for a while, then later saying, “ok, now you can keep playing.” Go the fuck away Desmond, we want to play our historic assassins, not your dumbass.
Ultimately I won’t be getting AC3. 60$… for this? NTY.
Btw, where is the Fable review?
assassin’s creed 3 liberation the main character assassin in the campaign is a woman
Yeah, but she’s on the PSP Vita and (although I haven’t played the game and can’t say definitively about this) she is playing a minor role compared to the other men on the consoles.
I think if they actually did something with Desmond in the time he was out of the chair there would be less animosity to him. I mean, he is a trained assassin. I’m fairly certain there are plenty of modern bad guys that need assassinating. It would be cool as hell if you were in the animus for a while and found a clue, then had to pop out and fly to the modern day area and kill someone and retrieve a puzzle piece. You could actually compare the modern day setting to the historical one with the ruins and everything.
I remember running around Rome thinking, this would be cool as hell if desmond had to sneak into the modern vatican. But instead we got some fake as hell jumping puzzle from the coliseum underground.
They must stop wearing bows over their shoulders like that! AHHHHH!!!
ac3 was so boring and ending is so bad worse of them yet YOU DON’T NEED TO CHANGE YOUR WEAPON THROUGH THE WHOLE GAME and don’t change your tomahawk because they obviously think no one would because he uses he blade like an hachet
That weird Holodeck stuff is the reason I never wanted to play any of these games.
And, oh god! Joe, do something with that wig! It gets me freaked out every time he keeps brushing it back. ^^
Bah were is the epic FABLE REVIEW !
We all know assasin cread is a peace of shit game it doesnt need a freaking review ! Since its first game it was freaking reapeating and boring and it cant be called a assasination game since you run bihind people in the broad day light chaisng people so wtf dude : P
P.s i love your reviews but lol
I don’t think a 7yr old with spelling issues’ opinion is worth a penny.
And with that said, I will add the reminder: Fable, Joe! FABLE!
Joe I think you made a bad job reviewing this game,and this comes from a big fan of your reviews.
The tree climbing is smooth and amazing,the Connor charecter is my favortie,and you have’nt talked about the bugs.
Female assassin’s in MP were aviable since revelations,and it seems as if you have’nt played the game.
BTW you MUST review Outland,TRUST ME YOU WILL LOVE IT!
No, they have been around since Brotherhood… Do you remember the courtesan? She was in Brotherhood… Then in Revelations there was a WHOLE BUNCH of female assassin’s (not to mention the DLCs provided more female’s).
I am beginning to think that Joe never really played these games… He never even touched on the story between Conner and his dad… I mean, I personally don’t care for Conner, but there was a lot in the game that Joe neglected to mention that were real big key points for players.
Joe should play one of the Sea Dogs games. Those are some old pirate RPGs. A little dated, but still interesting to check out.
Ok we did this with Mass effect 3, lets do this with AC 3, lets get a better ending
Dammit, I thought this was going to be the best Assassin’s Creed yet with the tree climbing and naval stuff. Still great though.
I agree with the score. Personally i didn’t like AC3 that much (my favorite is 2) because it felt like the devs took shortcuts with certain things like the npc interaction and the evolution of characters to name a few. Don’t get me wrong it is a good game but i felt it could have been better fine-tuned.
In a way Conor is loosely based on a few Natives who fought on both sides of the Revolutionary War and I do like his story, acting, and the Mohawk people. However, the battles and most fights are really scripted while Joseph Brant, a real and historical Mohawk who fought for the British, led battles and even charged in the line of fire like the trailer. You can look him up if you want.
i like this show as a show, but as review reference you’re no better then ign’s and gamespot…… only difference may be the money under the table but on past months specialy this is all about biased opinions. you like, you hate, theres nothing technical about it as it should be from someone even if so barely professional, seems more like whinning. you may be a gamer with all the credits but once and for all stop saying that you’re the truth and you’re helping other gamers. cheers
Oh hello Judge Dread.
For each his own perspective..
But..
Calling someone unprofessional, when you might be, who exactly??
And what goes for the reviewers, they don’t always hit the “spot” for us so..
So i don’t see bashing Joe in the face is such an unnecessity.
But for each his own right?..
*necessity
Says a gamer with no credits. At the end of the day if you don’t like him don’t watch him. As for for under the table deals allegations with no proof to back it up, you are a fucking idiot.
Nevemind I see what you meant by under table deals, meaning Joe “may” not take them, I retract my fucking idiot statement. You get downgraded to just plain idiot
Not sure how anyone can have a biased opinion when there is no kickbacks involved…. He reviews the game how he sees it as an average guy and passes it on to us with some entertainment, not everyones cup of tea, but again if you don’t like him, don’t watch him.
@Leon It’s insulting to even compare him to those “professional” websites, which sell their reviews/ratings for anyone that will pay for them. Joe doesn’t do that, and he gives games an honest review. In other words; you’re an idiot Leon.
huh, i didn’t know a man who lost his family and friends and is getting his race slowly extinguished is supposed to be charming and full of humor.
Exactly. Really it’s kinda stupid. these types of players are more of the RTS kinda crowd that would bash any kind of game. So sad really.
also: they never said this was the end of the AC story ark! doesn’t anyone watch the interviews?!?! they said this was the end of the DESMOND story ark! only the DESMOND story ark!
“combat is easy as hell” while your getting your ass handed to you in the background? ya, real smooth. i love you joe but i just cant say i agree with you here. AC3 was amazing for me personally. ya, if you run full force at a group of soldiers, YOUR GONNA DIE. it is disappointing that its scripted, but i wasn’t really looking forward to the battles anyway. and how is the blinding white not better than any other AC but revelations, which was probably the worst game in the series?
Agent 47… You’re up.
good review, now,… halo 4…
Halo 4 in a nutshell you shoot things punch things and feels like halo3.5. Hope they dont keep this up much like medal of honor Cod etc. Alright wars over guys we closed all the gaps loopholes and got rid of those pesky loose ends..*commander* Nope we found like a million more *insert bad guy here* bases everywhere get back to it also everyone is wanting a piece of humanity and you know what they said? you guys stink so go get em !
I really feel like Ubisoft has missed the mark with this one.
Guys, I think we can all conclude that the white loading screen, even as stupid as it sounds, is what everyone can agree on to be annoying. Seriously though, every time I play the game I either look away from the loading screens or put on sunglasses. I felt like shouting to the screen: “BE A GODDAMN BLACK LOADING SCREEN!”
good review. About what i expected the game to be.
nice little half baked reference there at the end. but yeah, i don’t care much for the franchise. i’d really like it if ubisoft would use a feudal japan(stealthy ninjas!!11) or ancient greece(just because it’s a completely fresh setting) period or even give us a female protagonist. just something different than the generic early 20s male who tragically lost everything and has to pick up the fight.
Damn I so agree on the blinding light loading screen. Really annoying. I really liked the twist in the beginning of the game though. Desmond ending was really cliffhanger like, but they will continue this story anyway so it doesnt bother me as much as with ME 3.
Hey Joe, I don’t think you take requests but I’d really like to see a review of Halo 4… thanks regardless for the very entertaining reviews!
Yea, I’m not gonna lie. I was pretty underwhelmed by this game and after this and Revolations I just don’t care about the series any more.
Amigo Toyota an Italian with a Japanese surname?! and lol why did you do an English accent for Desmond, he no Englishman! indeed Desmond is such an uninteresting character even when compared to his supporting characters. aside from that Achilles seems like-able at least when compared to the rest. as
watching you flip over you wig so many times really feels so annoying to watch, works well if someone made a gif and put a L’oreal logo.
10:18, go Joe you can do it! Oh crap they kill Kenny.
I have to agree with Joe on this one. I’m not saying that I wasted my money on this game, because it was worth it, but the story and the characters, were really dull and boring. I can’t name even one character from the game who sticks out. There is none. And that’s sad.
In Ezio’s story there were plenty of interesting and memorable characters, and not just that good guys, but the villains as well.
The setting, well I am not a huge fan of the american revolution it was rather boring in school and sadly the game didn’t changed my opinion on this one.
What I missed from the game is the wonderful charm of the setting, like the Italian renaissance. It really breaks the immersion for me, even though the music was great, it never kicked in, that indescribable fire, which made me love the previous three games.
The combat was fun, the hunting was fun too, although what’s the point using traps, if I can easily chase down every animal in the game? There was no real challenge here, which is disappointing. This part of the combat should have been much more challenging. Wasted opportunity here.
Desmond and the ending, I am sick of this guys, why can they do something simple for a change? I don’t need some big reveal or twist at the end, just a nice satisfying conclusion. Is it too much to ask?
Overall I liked this game, but not as much as I liked Ezio and his story.
On a side note, blinding white loading screen??? and what’s worse they are all over the place, you can’t even skin an animal, or begin a mission, start a conversation, or pick up something without an utterly useless and annoying loading screen, Ahhh!…
ah yeah, I love the board games, man there is the challenge, Fanorona! I played it for hours and still can’t win, it’s impossible.
Good review AJ as always! Thanks
I love the fact that you hide your score until you click it, but I wish this trait would also apply on the reviews page. I guess it’s a case of some people just wanting to see quick scores as theyre scrolling through.
I like Conner’s character. yeah he’s rigid, but he’s losing his people’s land and lost his mother and has an Asshole father. he’s more of like a Freedom Fighter. and that’s the thing of why Ubisoft wanted each Assassin to be different. Altair is obviously at the start, he was like stone cold and stubborn, but eventually learned the REAL meaning behind the creed and made new innovations TO the creed. Then Ezio had to be a charmer, in a world of change and his story is very much pushing him like he’s trapped in this life of an Assassin and is hell bent on finding out what it means and if its even WORTH taking a chunk of his life away for this. So obviously, they DIDN’T want Conner to be a repaint of Ezio or Altair. They wanted him to be the freethinker. to think of freedom as a meaning of peace and is clearly on the borderlines between what is good and what is RIGHT. Something that could tear apart at his life lessons and challenge him to do things he might not have done if events had not befallen on his people.
It’s really disappointing that you couldn’t take part in any battles as huge as in the trailer but my biggest gripe is that we never get to fight alongside any of these famous historical figures. You help Samuel Adams during the Boston Tea Party and join Paul Revere but you never get to fight alongside George Washington in an epic battle or invent stuff with Benjamin Franklin. Theres nothing nearly as awesome as crafting new weapons with Leonardo da Vinci and trying out his flying machine in ACII. It was a huge missed opportunity.
The Desmond parts also suck. He’s boring as hell and his missions are anticlimactic. It’s also laughable how the Abstergo guards in the future use the same fighting style as the Regulars from the colonial times. Especially when they pull out their semi automatic pistols and slowly fire one shot before putting their gun away or reloading. Because futuristic pistols = 18th century muskets apparently.
THANK YOU JOE! As always you’re spitting some truth. This game did not live up to the hype, only the naval gameplay and a bit of son-father banter kept me going, but I’m a bit disappointed aswell.
I liked the story though. I didn’t see the haytham twist. Fo’ real. x)
Lots of truth in the review though. Not as Epic as expected but worth while, put in good hours of cozy-time and will probably sell the game after i’m done with all i want to do in it anyways.
Ending of desmond should have had a big “IRL” mission and cool stuffs. Though it left me wondering abit, it still was pretty much just a feeling of “Was that it?”
Tha beginning and the ending bloopers are some of the funniest things you have done so far Joe, good job !
YUNOTSHUTTAISFACE ?!?!?!?!
another con to this game: the tutorial last until the 5th sequence, and even after that ubisoft is going to hold your hand like you’re an infant.
example, every time you need to listen to a conversation they show this big circle to show you where you need to be if you want to hear what those people are saying, and when you enter that circle they are literally shouting just for your convenience.
ac3 is good, but i still think ac 2 was better
I’m loathing already The Assassin’s Creed game that stars Desmond, they really put themselves in a corner with him and the animus
You would, you would bring him back for this… and I love you for it. We need more roleplay of Princess Bride characters.
inconceivable!
That word, you keep using it, I dun’a think it means what you think it means.
I actually like desmond .-.