• Welcome to the Angry Joe Show Army!

    Join our community of gamers passionate about our community and our hobby! Whether it's playing, discussing, or watching games, regardless of platform, genre, or location, we have a place for you, always!

  • PS4 Forum

    The AJSA Playstation 4 Division: Game Nights and More!

    The AJSA is on Playstation 4! Join us for weekly Game Nights with a selection of the best games the PS4 has to offer!

  • XBO Forum

    The AJSA Xbox One Division: We Got You Covered!

    The AJSA Xbox One Division is ready to connect with you on XBox Live with a ton of events for the best Xbox games!

  • News Archive

    The Best News from the Best Sites, Every Week.

    The AJSA News Collection Team is hard at work condensing a week's worth of news into one giant-sze digest for you to chew on and discuss! Links to source articles are always provided!

  • More Info

    The AJSA Expeditionary Force: Deploying to Play the Best PC Games!

    The elite vanguard of the AJSA, the Expeditionary Force (EF) chooses a new PC game every week! Join us for weekly events and help decide if the game has a future in the AJSA.

  • The Team

    Streaming Now: The AJSA Stream Team

    Joe can't stream every game, but our talented AJSA Stream Team covers a wide variety of games and personalities! Check them out, and show them some AJSA Love!

  • The Tube

    The AJSA Community YouTube Channel

    Featuring news, gameplay clips, and more from the community! The Community is a chance to showcase the best moments in AJSA Gaming!

Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
Raspharus

Corporate Commander's Christmas gifts!

37 posts in this topic

                                                                       Backbreaker_thumb_05_SITE.jpg

 

Hello my friends! We are currently in a period of happiness, love and joy. Christmas. We all love Christmas because of certain... reasons.

 

Because 2016 is a big year for games, we The Corporate™ have decided to bring you in advance some upcoming news regarding the games that are gonna be launched and some general game policies.

 

And what would Christmas be without giving am I right? HAHAHAHAHAHA

 

1. First of all. This is a big one ohoho. Paid Patches. ohohoh yeah. Better performance for a modest price. We all know how much developers work on optimizing games these days. And we all know that especially when it comes to PC not anyone can run each game at a smooth framerate. On the consoles part, we can offer plenty of options such as higher dynamic resolution™, or framerate unlocking™.

 

2.  Optional game modes. We all know how difficult is to have fun these days. So we came up with the great idea of offering optional and improved game modes, like zombie mode, god mode, higher difficulties or new game + as optional paid DLC. Wanna change your hair? Beard? Want more clothes or a higher difficulty? We got it all here only at 4.99$

 

3. Dynamic Endings™ Why have the burden of decision forced upon you? You can screw up and end up with a bad ending, which will in turn mean replaying the game just to get a good one. With our option of Dynamic Endings™ you get to choose whatever ending you please only for 9.99$. And because we all know this is Christmas and it's all about giving, only for a limited time, our option Dynamic Endings™ will make you able to play the game even after you finish the story. So profit while you can or else you're gonna be locked out of the game!

 

*disclaimer: these features are not optional, and will be enforced upon users when 2016 will finally hit. All complaints and commentaries will be ignored due to the order to High Corporate Commander.

 

That will be all folks, Merry Christmas and A Wealthy... I mean Happy new Year! 

Kaz32 likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Alright, BRING THE TSAR BOMBA:

tsar-bomba.jpg

We will be ready to strike when you are. FOR THE GREATER GOOD!

vashya_trailblazer_by_ameeeeba-d7sbjpb.j

No offense, Kaz, but I personally thing Ras is better at being Corporate, it's much more entertaining.

Good corporate is kinda boring.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We will be ready to strike when you are. FOR THE GREATER GOOD!

vashya_trailblazer_by_ameeeeba-d7sbjpb.j

No offense, Kaz, but I personally thing Ras is better at being Corporate, it's much more entertaining.

Good corporate is kinda boring.

Small issue: The Tsar Bomba is nuclear bomb that completely annihilates everything in a 40 mile radius, causes serious damage to anything in a 60 mile radius and creates a fireball the size of Manhattan that stays around for a few hours. So air and ground and attack are just a waste of manpower.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Small issue: The Tsar Bomba is nuclear bomb that completely annihilates everything in a 40 mile radius, causes serious damage to anything in a 60 mile radius and creates a fireball the size of Manhattan that stays around for a few hours. So air and ground and attack are just a waste of manpower.

The Barracuda is an Air Superiority fighter, not a ground craft. Don't worry, I'm not THAT bad of a commander. 

Specs:

a1f806414f.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The Barracuda is an Air Superiority fighter, not a ground craft. Don't worry, I'm not THAT bad of a commander. 

Specs:

a1f806414f.png

And if that doesn't work, sending an apocalypse tank battalion should do the job.

Demonbane775 likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If the Apocolypse tanks don't do the job, this should. 

P1140899.JPG

The KX-139 Ta'unar "Supremacy" Titan Battlesuit. 2 twin-linked burst cannons, 2 twin-linked SMS, 2 Triple Barrel Ion Accelerators, and 3 back mounted railguns.

If anything can turn Corporate headquarters into a smoking ruin, it's this sexy beast. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Paid patches?

Optional game modes?

DYNAMIC ENDINGS??????

If 2016 really will introduce these things, I will give you a game.

Along with a dose of morphine covered candies. I mean LOVE covered candies.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We will be ready to strike when you are. FOR THE GREATER GOOD!

vashya_trailblazer_by_ameeeeba-d7sbjpb.j

No offense, Kaz, but I personally thing Ras is better at being Corporate, it's much more entertaining.

Good corporate is kinda boring.

I know right! That's why I decided to give him the title! I'm too kind to be Corporate. And I like to see what kind of ridiculous ideas he has. He's pretty creative with these things.

But I think he does a much better job at ruining the game industry than Corporate Agent had before. What have I done.....

Also, bah, mechs? TSAR bombs?? How old fashioned! You can't stop him by doing that!

I know Corporate's biggest weakness. Something that will piss him off SOO much that he will have no choice but to surrender to us. No need for mechs or bombs!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No offense, Kaz, but I personally thing Ras is better at being Corporate, it's much more entertaining.

Good corporate is kinda boring.

That's because Greed and Corruption is the core of the character, as I've been trying to say. You can't take those traits away from one who is supposed to personify them. It just doesn't work.

 

But I think he does a much better job at ruining the game industry than Corporate Agent had before. What have I done.....

Corporate Agent is playing a guy working for this character, which is why he's just trying to push whatever ideas this character has and doesn't really come up with his own.

 

What Ras is doing, makes sense for the Corporate Commander character and is doing a darn fine job at it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's because Greed and Corruption is the core of the character, as I've been trying to say. You can't take those traits away from one who is supposed to personify them. It just doesn't work.

Corporate Agent is playing a guy working for this character, which is why he's just trying to push whatever ideas this character has and doesn't really come up with his own.

What Ras is doing, makes sense for the Corporate Commander character and is doing a darn fine job at it.

I know! That's why I give my position to him! He does a much better job as Corporate than me and Agent!

Though that creates new ideas to ruin the game industry in the future........ Oh well. At least it's GOOD ideas to ruin the game industry.

Still, I have the upper hand here. I know his ultimate weakness. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know! That's why I give my position to him! He does a much better job as Corporate than me and Agent!

Though that creates new ideas to ruin the game industry in the future........ Oh well. At least it's GOOD ideas to ruin the game industry.

Still, I have the upper hand here. I know his ultimate weakness. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Agent also does a good job in his intended role though. And it's a different role from Commander as they're two separate characters. When you were doing it, you were acting more like an Agent than a Commander, at least for me. It's one of the reasons I thought Rogue Corporate Agent suited what you were trying to do best when I was suggesting alternate names.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Agent also does a good job in his intended role though. And it's a different role from Commander as they're two separate characters. When you were doing it, you were acting more like an Agent than a Commander, at least for me. It's one of the reasons I thought Rogue Corporate Agent suited what you were trying to do best when I was suggesting alternate names.

Hm.. Hihihi, HIHEHEHEHEH, HEHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!

You poor POOR fool. You didn't suspect a thing till the end.

Didn't you know why I purposefully decide to be generous all this time as Commander?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hm.. Hihihi, HIHEHEHEHEH, HEHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!

You poor POOR fool. You didn't suspect a thing till the end.

Dude, you didn't really do much but tell us about sales, good indie titles and free games. A job more suitable for an Agent than a Commander. A Commander would be overseeing those sales, and the production of those games. Ras' Commander is making up stuff to put in games that his Agents can promote.

 

 

Didn't you know why I purposefully decide to be generous all this time as Commander?

Something a Rogue Agent could have done. Something a Rogue Agent from Corporate WOULD do, to try and destroy Corporate Commander from the inside. You already said it in another post, you were trying to tarnish Corporate Commander's name or some such, definitely sounds like something a Rogue Agent would do.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dude, you didn't really do much but tell us about sales, good indie titles and free games. A job more suitable for an Agent than a Commander. A Commander would be overseeing those sales, and games.

EXACTLY why my plan works brilliantly. You didn't suspect a thing!

No, I did not become Generous Corporate Commander. No. It was my plan since the start to purposefully be generous and be FAR away from what Corporate usually does. Because I know that people like YOU don't want Corporate to be generous, you wanted Corporate to be as greedy as much as possible! And when the right time comes, I bring out a much worthier successor, Raspharus, that is even more powerful than me and Agent combined!

And it is all because you wanted it! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Brilliant!!

giphy.gif

The will of Corporate is unstoppable! ALL SHALL BOW TO CORPORATE!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

EXACTLY why my plan works brilliantly. You didn't suspect a thing!

No, I did not become Generous Corporate Commander. No. It was my plan since the start to purposefully be generous and be FAR away from what Corporate usually does. Because I know that people like YOU don't want Corporate to be generous, you wanted Corporate to be as greedy as much as possible! And when the right time comes, I bring out a much worthier successor, Raspharus, that is even more powerful than me and Agent combined!

And it is all because you wanted it! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Brilliant!!

giphy.gif

The will of Corporate is unstoppable! ALL SHALL BOW TO CORPORATE!!!

Note that I did not WANT Corporate Commander to be greedy. I said he NEEDED to be greedy because that's exactly the purpose that the character was made. I'm not even roleplaying when I was saying it. Ras isn't a better Corporate Commander because he's more greedy, but because he's creative at playing that role.

 

Do you really need a win so bad that you need to improvise some BS and say "It was my plan all along"? I mean, yeah that's creative too, but lets get real here. You made that up just now. As I said, like the kid in the playground who just makes up stuff so they'd always win.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Note that I did not WANT Corporate Commander to be greedy. I said he NEEDED to be greedy because that's exactly the purpose that the character was made. I'm not even roleplaying when I was saying it. Ras isn't a better Corporate Commander because he's more greedy, but because he's creative at playing that role.

Do you really need a win so bad that you need to improvise some BS and say "It was my plan all along"? I mean, yeah that's creative too, but lets get real here. You made that up just now. As I said, like the kid in the playground who just makes up stuff so they'd always win.

Um, what are you talking about??

For real though. That's what I was intending to do since becoming Corporate. I don't want to be such an obvious villain, I like twists and turns. Don't you know that twists works great in anything? If they are done well of course. Man, don't tell me you didn't suspect I was planning a secret twist all along!

In other words, I played you like a fiddle!

Thank you Meatshield. Without your supportive input, our empire won't get back stronger than ever before. HUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Um, what are you talking about??

For real though. That's what I was intending to do since becoming Corporate. I don't want to be such an obvious villain, I like twists and turns. Don't you know that twists works great in anything? If they are done well of course. Man, don't tell me you didn't suspect I was planning a secret twist all along!

In other words, I played you like a fiddle!

Thank you Meatshield. Without your supportive input, our empire won't get back stronger than ever before. HUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

How very Cartman of you to say that it was your plan all along.

 

 

Aww man, you broke the fourth wall. You're not supposed to reveal that Joe is Corporate!

Break character? I took over his business! It's more like, under new management. Not that it helps because without The old Commander's influence, many greedy companies are still operational because they are already banking in money from their ridiculous scams, so I can only negate some of the damage caused by the old Corporate. I will do as I can to encourage people and destroy them until they TOO are under new managament. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

 

 

Hmmmmm. Hihihehahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Foolishness. So much foolishness. You are unable to cope with the reality that the old Corporate has been taken over by me, and that fighting Corporate for eternity will never truly end his reign. To truly beat him, you must BECOME him, and make sure you are everything that he is not. As I say, destroy him from the inside?

In fact, I am more worried that YOU will end up being the new corporate, taking over and returning to the old roots of the past Corporate since you cannot accept his defeat. I am watching you. And if you end up consumed by the dark side, I will end you myself. Hihehehahahahahahahahaha

Oh, and you might want to check those tanks. I made a few, "alterations".

Eeeyup, totes not that kid who's just making stuff up as he goes just so he can say "Ha ha ha, I win."

 

Whatever helps you sleep at night Cartman.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How very Cartman of you to say that it was your plan all along.

 

Dude, I just had a church confessional. I don't want to sin after that. I'm being honest here, if I was making stuff up, I will tell you straight away since I have no reason to lie anyway.

 

 

And Cartman did that?? lol, I don't watch much South Park at all. The only ones I saw is that one with Zombie Chef,

 

The one with that towel and Oprah's vagina,

 

And that one with Lezbo or something with that 300 refference.

 

And Stick of Truth.

 

 

Man that show is weird.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dude, I just had a church confessional. I don't want to sin after that. I'm being honest here, if I was making stuff up, I will tell you straight away since I have no reason to lie anyway.

 

 

And Cartman did that?? lol, I don't watch much South Park at all. The only ones I saw is that one with Zombie Chef,

 

The one with that towel and Oprah's vagina,

 

And that one with Lezbo or something with that 300 refference.

 

And Stick of Truth.

Cartman has in fact lied that he planned something all along when his plan blows up in his face. So yeah, whatever lies you need to tell yourself to get you along your day Cartman.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Cartman has in fact lied that he planned something all along when his plan blows up in his face. So yeah, whatever lies you need to tell yourself to get you along your day Cartman.

 

Ah ok. 

 

I'm being honest though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ah ok. 

 

I'm being honest though.

Sure you are, suuuure you are. ;) I got you, "Honest". ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sure you are, suuuure you are. ;)

 

 

Ohoho, I know what you're trying to do here. I know, Laserrifle and Demonbane will try and destroy me as well. I got that plan covered.

 

 

But seriously, I'm not lying. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

But seriously, I'm not lying. 

Don't worry. I "Believe" you. ;) You can rest easy in knowing that you've "Fooled" someone buddy. ;) Hey you "Fooled" us all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't worry. I "Believe" you. ;) You can rest easy in knowing that you've "Fooled" someone buddy. ;)

Ok, are you bullying me right now? I told you already I'm not lying.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0