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Mr. Molotov

What if Konami's downfall was orchestrated by Mira from Silent Hill?

3 posts in this topic

Disclaimer: this thread is not serious, it is a joke and intended to be taken as such. If you have a habit of overeacting to stupid jokes, then:

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Anyways, let me put on my best Giorgio Tsoukalos impersonation and begin this decent into insanity...

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Good evening, friends and fellows. As you no doubt already know, Konami has become quite a box of dicks lately. They have attempted to ruin Hideo Kojima's career, sacrificed all of their good franchises at the altar of Pachinko, and continue to treat their employees like trash. But I posit this is not the fault of Konami CEO Hideki Hayakawa, nor is it the fault of Shareholders or the Konami Board of Directors. No, my friends, this is the work of something not of this earth. Something monstrously evil, a being which thrives on human misery. This is the work of Mira:

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For those of you who have not witnessed the eye-opening Dog/UFO Endings to the various Silent Hill video games, a brief description of these revelatory, some would say prophetic endings will follow. Firstly, the Dog Ending of Silent Hill 2 revealed that the events surrounding the disapperance of James Sunderland were orchestrated by Mira, seemingly for her own sick amusement. But the plot would come to thicken, as it was revealed the special ending Silent Hill: Origins that she was not working alone. Who could've helped this dog make humanity suffer? Who could've had the technology to give it intelligence? I think we all know the answer...

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Many Ancient Alien theorists argue that these endings are proof that Konami has been taken over by an evil Shiba Inu with the backing of the Greys, a diminutive species of troll from Rigil-Centarus X. We know that Greys are total fuckheads, as evidenced by the thousands of reports of them abducting and "probing" people with various large objects, presumably to compensate for the fact that they lack genitalia. Some skeptics say that most  alien abduction accounts are false and many skeptics doubt the canonocity of these endings, but I believe that they are true and I believe that canonocity is a real word. But how does this all relate to Konami? Well, I believe that these endings were a warning, inserted by Mayan Witch Doctors via drug-fueled telepathy into the Silent Hill series, in order to reveal to the world that Konami was undergoing a hostile takeover by Grey aliens represented by a sadistic Shiba Inu named Mira. A takeover that was completed in 2015. And some believe this goes even further. According to these rogue theorists, the tendrils of the Grey/Shiba Inu alliance have infiltrated every level of human society, from corporations to governments, and that they are the cause of much of humanity's everyday suffering. From shitty, overhyped video games and corporate dickery to long lines at the DMV, it is theorized that this double trifecta (trifecta, as we all know actually means two, or at least it did before the MIBs changed it for their own ends) of Grey aliens and evil Japanese dogs is behind it all. In summation, I believe we must seek the truth to find out if this theory is true, or if it's just something I pulled out of my ass. I think we all know which one it is.

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Dyzzles and ichig1vsnarut0 like this

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Naw, it's gotta be Psycho Mantis.

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