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Cyborg-Rox

How I lost my social life to gaming

9 posts in this topic

I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this, to various extents. Here I'm going to share the story of my gaming life. If anyone else also have something to share, please post it here, and I'll gladly read through your stories as well!

 

Together%20alone.jpg

 

I grew up as a kid doing what pretty much everyone else was doing in the early 2000s. Hung out with friends, all of which I knew from my class, some even from other classes. We visited each other, played (real life) games, hide n seek, and a bunch of other stuff I can't name in English. I like to think I was pretty much a normal kid. Now, I have a big brother, 5 years older than me, huge respect for him and all. So he's got his own computer, and sometimes he'd let me play some games on it. GTA 2, Driver, Worms 2, NFS Hot Pursuit, all that good classic stuff, but I didn't get to play that often.

So since our parents were divorced and we were living with our mom, we had to move around a lot since she was struggling with income. But funnily enough, we always stayed in the same exact street in town... until around my 4th grade. Then we were moving outside of town, to a farmhouse, with no friends anywhere close to walking distance. At this time, my brother also got himself a better PC. Now we didn't have any of that fancy schmancy interwebs stuff yet, but me and my brother managed to hook up both computers with local play, so we could play together, him on his new PC, me on his old one. Great fun.

After a while, I started getting really into this. We'd play games like Battlefield 1942, Command & Conquer: Generals, Counter Strike 1.6, Operation Flashpoint. I'd still play outside a bit, with my little sister. Even made a fun little turret nest out of an old treehouse right outside the house there, but more often than not, I'd be playing LAN with my brother.

When I started in 5th grade, we moved yet again, back to town, though a different part of town I still didn't know anyone around. At this point I was pretty hooked on my brother's old PC. He had the entire basement room to himself now (and yeah, that's just as stereotypical as it sounds), so I could just come in and use that PC whenever I wanted. At this place, my brother would have his friends over pretty often, and I'd often get to play with them as well. At one point, my brother finally managed to set us up with the wonders of the INTERNET... but only on his computer, which I rarely got to use.

But oooooooohohohoho boyyy... The very first time I got to try it out, to play a game (Live For Speed) online... I got so insanely hooked! It was incredibly fun, interacting with a full server with complete strangers. I loved it, loved it way too much for my own good. But here's the real thing that nailed the coffin of my social life. Next year, we moved. Far away. From everyone. I knew. Even my brother, who stayed behind in his own place for high school.

This was tough for me. I ended up with social anxiety. The first few weeks I spent all the recesses hiding away behind some school structures and trees, peeling the skin off of tree branches (yes, really). Even months later, all I did was stand alone somewhere. It took a long time to get comfortable in my class. Maybe even years. When I started 8th grade though, there was someone new in class (or well, returning, from before I started). He was really into PC gaming, and we quickly became friends. He lived close to me as well, so I would often visit him, bringing my mom's laptop, and we'd play games together in his room. Games like Roblox, Minecraft, Spiral Knights, and Team Fortress 2. He also had an online friend we voice chatted with.

So... after living 3-4 years in this place, we moved yet again, back to the same area we were from, though not the same town. This was when I started my 10th grade. Once again I had no friends, no one I knew anywhere close to me. But this time... distance wasn't a problem. At this place I got my very own computer rig, and I got to play with my friend online all the time! Only problem was, it was the only thing I ever did. All the time. I never got to know anyone in my class well enough to want to visit them. And after one year, that was that, because then I started *ghasp* HIGH SCHOOOOooooo.....l. So yeah, once again a giant repeat, new class, no friends... Well, I made 2 friends, but we didn't hang out in our free time, and in my second year, they both took a different class at a different school so... yaaaayyy... no friends...

Few years pass, we move again, I graduate, I get a job, I move out, buy an apartment, and now I'm sitting here. 
21 years old, almost a year since I moved. I never go out to do anything, besides buying food, and the occasional family visit. I just stay in my apartment, watching Youtube or Netflix, and gaming with my online group. This is... where I'm at. 

So yeah... I'm not very good at ending stories. Take from this what you will. Maybe it'll help someone, somehow...

Don't forget to share your stories as well. Let's band together, in lonely unity!

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mine social was kind of destroyed when i was younger, not from gaming but from my dad working at as cop. once i was around 13, people didnt really want to hang out with me outside of school because they legitimately thought they could get arrested. i was told by this from a quite a few people years after high school,  most likely because they started smoking weed at the time. it really slammed me into depression because i couldn't figure out nobody wanted to hangout with me. it warp my brain until i got my first girlfriend then everything became balanced, normalized. i know i wasn't a weirdo at the time.... well this is what i thought. maybe i was but idk. this is also why i dont use facebook, still salty about people trying to me my friends now. but i still have one so people can have the satisfaction of tagging me in "gamer" stuff.

i did gain a some what of a social life from gaming. went to gamestop 2014 to buy metal gear rising. 

kinda went like

guy that works there: i know you

me: i know you too from high school (that knew my dad was a cop and was cool with it but never actual talked).

guy: you like fighting games?

Me:yes

guy: meet my other friends that plays fight man games

me: awesome,  we best friends now 

guy :yes

but i learned anyways find a scene in a town you moved to  that shares the same interests. if you can deal with frustration of a fighting games are the easiest easy to find people to hang with. but once i began to go to tournaments i started to gain more friends. 

also as of right i kind of in the same position because i just started to work 9pm-6am. 

 

i originally came to this site today remove my full name just encase employers wanted to google my name and look what happen.

Faravahar1200 and Cyborg-Rox like this

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I think moderm gaming is a great social outlet for people who, for one reason or another, struggle with in life social interactions. The protection of an alias online as well was being behind a keyboard or whatever does cause it's problems, but does offer a way to be expressive and confident that many people struggle with in other area. Alot of people think that being socially active only on the internet is a problem, but I disagree. Thats why i like communities like this. I can actully communicate with people I find intersting on topics i want to talk about. Don't think forr one secind your sivially inept man. Not gonny deny that "getting ou there" would be a good thing, but to do so forcibly abd to only feel more uncomfortable wouldn't be worth it.

Cyborg-Rox likes this

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My childhood/social life couldn't be destroyed by gaming as they were merely 1 inch pixels connected together for every type of game imaginable. And at the time going outside was still far superior when playing with friends. So when Nintendo came along and arcades got upgraded from wire frames and single pixels to 8bit graphics...the wow factor was there but still overshadowed with the outside world predominantly setting the standard for fun. So each generation of gaming was cool to see but never really made me quit everything just to game. Even when I got my first taste of online gaming with Rainbow 6: Rogue Spear, I managed to balance even though it raised the standard in gaming dramatically.

 

It's all a mindset, let yourself get immersed and pulled from the real world and that's all it takes. If someone doesn't have that knack or need to socialize out in the world in person it's not a problem or disorder, people were doing that before gaming. For the recent generations they have virtually no chance because as soon as they can grip something parents throw an iPad in their hands because it's less parenting to deal with. School is the best chance to develop the social bug, if it doesn't catch then it's on the person to make the effort after graduating high school. Kind of rambled off topic, but just getting the point across no judgement will come from this community.

Cyborg-Rox likes this

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On 11/28/2017 at 8:31 PM, Shagger said:

I think moderm gaming is a great social outlet for people who, for one reason or another, struggle with in life social interactions. The protection of an alias online as well was being behind a keyboard or whatever does cause it's problems, but does offer a way to be expressive and confident that many people struggle with in other area. Alot of people think that being socially active only on the internet is a problem, but I disagree. Thats why i like communities like this. I can actully communicate with people I find intersting on topics i want to talk about. Don't think forr one secind your sivially inept man. Not gonny deny that "getting ou there" would be a good thing, but to do so forcibly abd to only feel more uncomfortable wouldn't be worth it.

Yeah, I really feel this. When my family moved far away from our hometown, and my brother stayed behind, for a while I was in a situation where I had no friends, and no computers (yet). You wanna know what I spent my time with? Legos. Lots, and lots, and, LOTS, AND LOTS of legos. I was addicted to the bloody stuff, as a TWELVE YEAR OLD! I had a big pile of legos in the middle of the living room on a bedsheet that I'd just sit and build with, whenever I wasn't watching TV. I mean, it must've worked wonders for my creative skills, but if it wasn't for online gaming, who knows what kind of social deprivation I'd have today? I'd probably be like that autistic guy that talks to girls like he's an Oblivion NPC. Hell, they even had me tested for autism at the time.

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You're not alone. Take it from me, I was pretty much the emotional punching bag from elementary all the way to 8th grade, and gaining friends was no easy task for me (Not to mention my parents would always fight 3-4 times a week). Gaming was pretty much my only way to wash out all the terrible shit I went through school wise and home wise. It wasn't until High School where I became The Cool Cat Gamer. Till this very day, I can easily gain friends, but at the same time I still struggle to physically socialize. You can say the gaming world is where I feel more welcomed and at home, (regardless of preferred console and skills) where as in certain parts of the real world, I feel like the main character from "Welcome to the NHK".  Gaming is my way to gain friends and socialize, and I'm always grateful for that.

Faravahar1200 likes this

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TO

Topic maker

 

Thx for sharing your story hope things be better for you now in this year 

 

My story is very different ,you could say it is based on players I interact with from different countries in online games like coop or pvp so I will call it my view towards racist players 

I usually use my second Language English to talk with other gamers whenever I get a chance to play with and it is funny as I am from Iran and my main language it's Farsi I really Find English more easy ha ha ha  ha ha ha ha 

 

Anyway back to my story whenever I bump into wrong crowd players who are being racist it gets very frustrating and I totally recommend do not even bother to argue,  if you also getting same thing  just  hope you find a good team member to play co up games with and don't forget to file a perfect camplain of players that do that  it really works 100 percent if it done right .

That's the only issue I get in online gaming

 

I also find it very odd that sometimes strangers  who want to add me on friend list call me freak or insult me whenever I honestly explain to them that why I am not adding them on friend list they just lose it even I am not insulting and formally explaining why xd 

like this massage I wrote here

oh nvm that is private hope you enjoyed my story  

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Faravahar1200
English fixing words and repairing my brain
Cyborg-Rox likes this

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