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  • Xbox Community "Report" - April 1st, 2019 - [April Fools 2019 - ARCHIVE]


    RuneX

    This article was part of an April Fools Day 'prank' set up by the Xbox staff on April 1st, 2019. Believe nothing you read in this article. We're sorry if anyone actually believed any of this.

    Greetings and thank you for checking our Xbox community article for this week. This is our way to report and share with you on whats going on with the AJSA in the Xbox community on a weekly basis. We'll have updates on current projects, upcoming activities, community content ranging from interviews to Youtube videos, and more. These articles will always contain a copy our Game Nights schedule for the week to keep folks informed about what titles we're featuring and supporting. We have plenty of news and updates for you today as we're covering all the new announcements, events, and some new promotions. Thank you and enjoy!

    Xbox Reports

    - Staff Promotions -

    I'd like to take a quick moment to start off our article this week by recognizing these two hard working and dedicated individuals. I'm pleased to annouce their promotions to the Xbox team. These folks will be helping out with the day to day operations of the community. Please join me in giving them a very warm welcome.

    QuickScoperXxXURXMOMX - We're proud to announce that QuickScoperxxxUrxMomx is being promoted to the position of Game Officer in the Xbox team. QuickScoper we feel is a fantastic fit to the team. We've only known him for a few days but we offered him the position of Game Officer after he told us his dad worked for Microsoft. Even though he has a Playstation 4, we believe him!!! No interview or training was required. Thank you and welcome QuickScoperxxxUrxMomx!

    OUYAMaster2018 - OUYA is also joining the ranks of the Xbox team and is being promoted to the position of Game Officer. OUYA joined us a few weeks ago and has been very active during our Overwatch events. He has been joining our Overwatch Club parties and ranting incessantly how Overwatch sucks, is a noob game, is a clone of Team Fortress, and that Battleborn is way better. We appreciate such tenacity. His sort of attitude is what really holds up and builds community. He is being put in charge of our newly formed Battleborn Clan and will running Battleborn events right away. Thank you OUYA for accepting this position!

    Tony - Tony holds the honor of being the youngest ever Game Officer in the history of the AJSA. Only born a few days ago, Tony is being promoted to the position of First Class General and he will leading our new eSports Division. He doesn't have an Xbox yet but his mom said he'll get one eventually. Lead us to victory, Tony!!!

    - Minecraft Realm Update -

    Since we forgot to renew the subscription for the Minecraft Realm, Mojang shut down the server. We sadly didn't make a backup save of the world. It is unfortunate to report that everything we worked on for the past two years is now gone. I blame Garza.

    - Overwatch Support Announcement -

    Due to overwhelming positive support of Overwatch these past few months, we have decided to abandon Overwatch as an official game on Xbox and have shut down all our upcoming Game Nights for the foreseeable future. You're having too much fun. Please stop. Get over yourself.

    - Battleborn Clan Support -

    We are pleased to announce that with Overwatch being abandoned as an official game for the Xbox, we have selected Battleborn to step up and take the reigns as our premier hero shooter on Xbox. Long held down by Overwatch over the years, this is now Battleborn's time to shine. Newly appointed Game Officer OUYAMaster2018 has set up our new AJSA Clan on Battleborn and events will be starting right away this weekend. We only want super serious gamers who only care about K/D and Win/Loss ratios. Casual players who play "for fun", you need not apply.

    - Kountdown to Kombat Fight Nights Cancelled -

    Thanks to the large amounts of rage quitting, broken controllers and use of lag switches during the Fight Nights these past two months, the Kountdown the Kombat series is being cancelled.

    - Fallout 76 Official Guild Announcement -

    Due to the overwhelming negative response Fallout 76 has received since launch, we are very excited to announce that formation of our brand new Fallout 76 Guild and slate of events for the next month. Since the Kountdown to Kombat series has been cancelled, Sickshock is stepping up to lead our new adventure on Fallout 76. He has provided a brief outline of Guild rules and expectations that he wants everyone to follow going forward:

    FALLOUT 76 GUILD RULES

    • Sickshock is the GUILDMASTER of the Fallout 76 Guild. He must be addressed as GUILDMASTER SICK at all times.
    • Regular activity checks will be conducted.
    • If you have a life outside of games and don't play everyday, you will be kicked out of the Guild.
    • If you don't attend all Fallout 76 events, you will be kicked out of the Guild.
    • If you don't tell GUILDMASTER SICK how cool his armor looks, he will launch a mini nuke at you, and then kick you from the Guild.
    • You MUST be over level 150 to join the Guild. If you are below level 150, you will be kicked.
    • You MUST get a Todd Howard tattoo on your neck. If not.....you will be kicked.

    - April 2019 Event Schedule -

    99L0zZS.jpg

    For the month of April 2019 we are offering these games as Xbox Game Nights. We are now offering PC and PS4 games in our lineup. In solidarity with our PC third cousin twice removed once added divided by zero step-brothers, we are offering Planetside 2!

    For PS4, you'll be pleased to know we're offering multiplayer events with single player games like Order 1886 and Knack! We're just going to sit in a party and play by ourselves in awkward silence.

    Hosts for these PS4 and PC games are undetermined at this time....we are setting up a Go Fund Me to raise cash to pay for PS4s and PCs to get our staff to host these games.

    Week One [April 1st to 7th]

    • Fri. Apr. 5th - Evolve - 1:00pm EST
    • Sat. Apr. 6th - Battleborn  - 10:30am EST
    • Sun. Apr. 7th - Fallout 76 - 11:30pm EST

    Week Two [April 8th to 14th]

    • Mon. Apr. 8th - Battleborn - 5:33am EST
    • Tues. Apr. 9th - Planetside 2 - 1:35am EST
    • Weds. Apr. 10th - The Order: 1886  - 1:38pm EST
    • Thurs. Apr. 11th - Planetside 2 - 11:37am EST
    • Fri. Apr. 12th - Ride to Hell: Retribution Appreciation Fan Club Meeting - 8:27am EST
    • Sat. Apr. 13th - God of War III Remastered eSports Training - 2:12pm EST
    • Sun. Apr. 14th - Planetside 2 - 1:11pm EST

    Week Three [April 15th to 21st]

    • Mon. Apr. 15th - Fallout 76 - 2:00am EST
    • Tues. Apr. 16th - Evolve - 1:00pm EST
    • Weds. Apr. 17th - Rambo: the Video Game - 2:30pm EST
    • Thurs. Apr. 18th - Knack II eSports Training - 11:00am EST
    • Fri. Apr. 19th - Ride to Hell: Retribution Appreciation Fan Club Meeting - 8:27am EST
    • Sat. Apr. 20th - Sonic Free Riders - 2:00pm EST
    • Sun. Apr. 21st - Battleborn - 5:00pm EST

    No other events are being planned for April. Rest of the staff doesn't feel like it.

    If you want to host a game, please fill out our "I want to host a random event" application.

    We may read it. We may not. 

    ---------

    Weekend Game Night Schedule - April 5th to April 7th

    6dUZk1Q.jpg

    How can I attend a Game Night? - If the host a Game Night decides to show up, maybe they'll invite you to play.

    --------------------

    Evolve - Game Night
    Friday April 5th - 1:00pm EST

    rRvi2e4.jpg

    So we're going to play a game or something like that this Friday. This thing is called 'Evolve' and it was a game that came out awhile ago. The online servers shut down like last year so we don't even know if online works anymore but we're going to give a shot anyway and waste your time. I think you can still do custom lobbies. If so only the host can be the monster. The monster must always win. Deal with it.

    Game Night Summary

    - Activities - 

    • Group Therapy Chat: Why Evolve is the greatest game of this generation

    - Date & Start Times -

    • Friday March 29th, 2019
    • 1:00pm ET
    • 12:00pm CT
    • 11:00am MT
    • 10:00am PT
    • 6:00pm GMT

    Join the Game Night party via the Club or through the profile of the host to get started and invited to our lobby.

    - Host -

    • QuickScoper [PSN ID: QuickScoperXxXURXMOMX]

    Quick says he'll get an Xbox like next year.

    --------------------

    Battleborn - Game Night
    Saturday April 6th - 10:30am EST [3:30pm GMT]

    muz8d5Q.jpg

    With Battleborn the new flagship title of the Xbox Game Nights, a whole month of events are being planned to celebrate the birth of our new Battleborn clan. To ensure absolutely no one shows up, we are holding our super special first time ever event this Saturday morning at 10:30am EST. See you there!

    Game Night Summary

    - Activities -

    • HOW NOT TO BE A NOOB TRAINING
    • Making fun of Overwatch

    - Date & Start Times -

    • Sunday April 6th, 2019
    • 10:30am ET
    • 9:30pm CT
    • 7:30am PT
    • 3:30pm GMT

    - Host -

    • OUYAMaster [Gamertag: OUYAMaster2018]

    OUYA wishes to only communicate via long range walkie talkie.

    --------------------

    Fallout 76 - Game Night
    Sunday April 7th - 11:30pm EST [4:30am GMT]

    Vl9cRki.jpg

    Thanks to official support for Fallout 76, we are officially having our first official event this Sunday night officially at 11:30pm EST with official Officer Sickshock6 leading this official inagural event with the official Fallout 76 Guild. If you officially have any complaints about the official start time of this official event, you can officially submit your official complaints to Sickshock's official "I don't give a fuck" box.

    Game Night Summary

    - Activities -

    • Looting supplies for Sickshock
    • Telling Sickshock how cool his armor looks
    • Getting yelled at by Sickshock for no reason

    - Date & Start Times -

    • Sunday April 7th, 2019
    • 11:30pm ET
    • 10:30pm CT
    • 8:30pm PT
    • 4:30am GMT

    - Host -

    • Officer Sickshock [Gamertag: Sickshock6]

    If you don't attend this event...Sickshock will hunt you down...and smack you...then kick you from the clan.

    --------------------

    If you made it this far without clicking away from the article, congrats! You win! April Fools btw.

    Edited by RuneX




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