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Showing results for tags 'a humorous joke'.
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20, Season of the Colossus, 1328 AE - 18 October 2015 of the Gregorian One very fine day in Gendarran Fields would forever be remembered in the history of the people in the region – unless the history of Tyria would forget the memory of the scene. The vast fields were known for the settlements of Ascalon residents moving from the Fields of Ascalon to reside in the eastern regions that bordered Kryta and Ascalon. The lush fields were also the gateway into entering Snowden Drifts close to the homelands of the norn, Hoelbrak. The residents there in Gendarran Fields were used to the assaults of the centaur tribes that reside there – which would either be repelled by the Lionguards stationed there, the Vigil army close by at the Vigil Headquarters, or some passing heroes and guild members of various clans of Tyria – the most numerous would be The Angry Army stationed at First Haven Outpost. However, one fine day (where everything began with tentacle porn), a rather strange and rather funny scene would envelop the region, into which the residents would famously recount and remember the scenario with the term “Runaway Asuran Bride.” As the centaur tribes and the Lionguards were fighting and trying their best to take over Ascalon Settlements in Gendarran fields – the screams of the residents cowering and the shouts of both soldiers and centaurs clashing blades and shields and defending themselves, they were so into the whole fight, when a rather humorous scene happened that made everyone stop. “Leave me alone!!!” A sudden, mousey squeak that was as loud as any horn, emanated from one corner of the section. Both centaurs and soldiers looked at the source of the scene, only to find a diminutive and rather small female asura running and squeaking in terror, her small legs running as fast as she could. She was decked in a rather bright colored wedding attire as she was fleeing as best as she could, running to and fro from something that was chasing her. Behind her, an even stranger occurrence was going on. The asura was chased not by any creature, but by two rather cuddly, cute and adorable looking dolls, with one yelling “GIVE ME A HUG!!!” as they pursued the asura in the wedding dress. “Why are you running away from two, very cute, very adorable dolls?” “They are nightmare fuel!” The asuran squeaked, making her way off forward as fast as she could possibly take herself, shouting off profanities and curses. “They are the epitome of all that is evil! They are two of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse! They are the Herald and the Anti-Christ!” The whole scene managed to stump both armies silent and froze them in place. Residents, centaurs and Lionguards stood still and watched the asura squealed and shouted to get away and squealing like a skritt on drugs as the two Christmas themed dolls gave chase. They ducked, they fled, the pursued each other around the settlements, ducking under centaur hooves and human legs as they chased each other around, before the asura went off towards the gates and exited herself – with the two doll giving chase. You could swear the whole town went drop dead silent, you could drop a needle on the ground and hear it fall, for a full minute. “You know what, human…” One centaur managed to say quietly, as he dropped his arms and lowered his weapons. “I think I don’t want to fight anymore…” “Yeah.” The Lionguard said in reply, face sullen and blank as he did the same with his sword and shield. “I think I had enough for the day. Let’s call it off for now…” The centaur army did just that, lowering their weapons just as the guards did the same, before dispersing away from the settlement – feeling a little bit puzzled, a little jaded and very confused and befuddled as to what had went on earlier on. Why was an asura running away from two dolls? I guess no one would actually find an explanation as to why that was happening. Legends and word of mouth say that the event happened all around the Gendarran Fields, where most people would say the exact same thing; that an asura wearing a wedding dress was running away from two Christmas toys. Some say that the happening occurred due to a gathering of the usual guild at First Haven and the craziness began there at the fort. Some say that the asura was getting married in an arranged fashion, shotgun style and was not having any of it. No one would ever know about Runaway Asura Bride.
The whispers of the guild members were more than running rampant as the new recruits and the regular members were talking about the rumors. The talk and the story was always about the same thing – even when there was pretty much the talk and the stories about the guild was more than just ale talk and bar stories in the guild halls and guild bars in First Haven. When any of the guild members asked the officers and ranked members about it, in particular, they would only smile and reply: “If you wanted to know that, you should know – that it all happened with tentacle porn.” The rumors and the questions persist – but the rumors remain all the same, and as First Haven buzzed about the stories of the deed, the guild members would be really curious as to why the stories were both legendary and ludicrous at the same time. At least, in certain aspects, the guild members and unranked officers knew who were involved in the stories – and one of them would be one surprising addition. * * * * * Even though, in respect, the story started with tentacle porn, the story started on one rather quiet night in Gendarran Fields, where a small, shadowy figure began to run at the end of the Cornucopian Waypoint, close to the nearest village and halfway through to the Vigil Headquarters. Just up ahead, a few shadowy figured were stealthed together under duress – they had to get in a small tussle and a small fight with one of their team member, who was promptly stuffed in a brown sack as the small asura made his way up to them. “Guys!” The shadowy asura called out to them – quietly, as the figures came up to view. “I got it!” A single charr was present there – one large well built charr with an expression that he was very aware of what he was not supposed to be doing, but he was pretty sure that he should be here for now. The charr gave off an aura of uselessness, but tonight he was going to make a mark for himself. A few humans were there too along with another asura – well known one, with the shadowy asura joining in on them making a small five-member group. “Good!” The charr replied as they materialized out from the Shadow Refuge – they were healing themselves after the person in the sack had put up a good fight with his dual pistols and firing barrages and barrages of bullets at them. Eventually he was captured and dragged along with this. “But you sure we are good with this?” The charr asked the asura, into which the other asura promptly puts his stubby foot down on it. “Demonbane.” The asura looked at the charr, chuckling with mirth. “This is going to be epic. Don’t you worry. Besides, everyone would be blaming me about it anyways – directly or indirectly.” “But Jeb!” Demonbane the charr looked back, a worried expression clouding his face. “What if it doesn’t fit? It’s asura-sized.” The shadowy asura chuckled and handed the charr the dress. “You did say ‘good’ earlier on, so you’re going to be well, buddy. And besides, don’t worry. We’re going to wear them in turns, I guess, since there’s only one. Don’t worry.” Shadow the asura added. “GUYS!!!” The package moved and screamed from under the sack. “DON’T DO THIS! THIS IS MEAN! AND UNCALLED FOR!” The humans laughed hearing the bundle screaming and one of them sat down and patted the package. “It’s okay, Treeps. It’s okay.” He chuckled. “HOW IS THIS OKAY!? YOU ARE KIDNAPPING ME GUYS! THIS IS MEAN!” “Treeps. You can’t get away with this, this time.” The male human standing hovered above the other. “It’s guild leader’s orders and we can’t always say no to Jeb, even if we blame him for everything.” “Hey!” the asura said from behind them. “But Senju.” The one standing looked at his friend. “This is kinda too much, right? Capturing Treeps and stuffing him in the bag is kinda over the top, don’t you think?” “Tyler.” Senju laughed, amidst Treeps’ screaming in the sack, protesting the whole thing and telling them that ‘this is mean to Muzical’. “This idea is going to be epic and it’s going to be great. People will be talking about it. Tyler looked at Senju with a rather puzzled expression. “Dude.” He said. “Even I’m pretty much worried about it.” “Not to worry.” Senju replied, turning to Jeb, who to him, was a very surprising addition. The guild leader was pretty much the one who has to keep a level head, and yet watching Jeb, the guild leader, joining in on the shenanigans, was a very surprising and very amusing thing to watch. “Tyler.” Jeb asked. “Did we set any time for this and did we have to be drunk for it? You did tell us about that.” “No I didn’t.” Tyler said, pointing at Senju. “It was Senju. What are you talking about Jeb?” “Goddamnit Tyler!” The asura groaned. “I always get you two confused!” “Anyways…” Shadow said, as he joined them. “I got the charr to wear the dress.” The trio looked at the asura, before looking a little bit further and stifled their laughter. “GUYS!?” The sack screamed. “NO!!!” “Treeps, shush.” Jeb said, as they tried to control their laughter. “Hey guess what, Treeps.” Shadow smirked as he walked up to the sack. “I have gotten one for you too, and we’re going to have so much fun with this.” The sack went silent, before unleashing a very petrified “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” Shadow laughed – an evil, menacing laugh as Demonbane proceeded to make his appearance, and what an appearance did the huge charr did. He was clad in nothing but the wedding dress that was ten sizes too big. The fabric, miraculously, held – but the dress clung onto the charr as if one tug of any part of the strings, the dress will fall off from him. Somehow it seemed that the wedding dress hung onto Demonbane and was fitting. The wedding dress was Muzical’s, who had bought it, along with a few more, earlier – the asura had a very excited feeling about buying it from the merchants off from Divinity’s Reach and was already elated about the wedding dress. The men in the guild – Jeb, Shadow, Senju, Demonbane and Tyler, apparently, had thought it be a better idea to just mess with Muzical a little bit more. It was surprising that Shadow was the one suggesting it. No one expected Jeb, the Angry Army’s guild leader, to join in on the fun. Demonbane was looking pretty ridiculous, and the expression on the charr’s face was evident. If he was hairless, his muzzle and snout would already be blushing red at this – however, the charr was not feeling perturbed at all. In fact, he felt that the dress was giving him more confidence, as he began to speak. “I’ll pick this small package that is Treeps.” Demonbane said, his voice funnily enough went all foppish and rather fae, causing the rest of the men to laugh out loud. Treeps, still in the sack, resisted by trying to kick and scratch his way out from it, even as the large charr went to pick it up. Shadow followed along with Demonbane, as he grinned at the rest of the party. “Give us a moment.” He said. * * * * * The residents of Lion’s Arch at that time were already taking the resting period, even though the Lionguards were going around patrolling the vicinity and the pavements and the bridges. However, the residents did swear that they heard screams and cries of agony about how this is wrong and he is innocent. At the vicinity of the Traders’ Forum, the five were walking rather pompously around, laughing and making fun of things as if they were drunk – when in fact, all they were high on were maybe a few cups of coffee, some chocolate bars and some other sugary concoctions. The charr was up front and on point, wearing the stretched wedding dress and looking a different person altogether – walking, or more like prancing along the streets of Lion’s Arch wearing the dress as if it was something of a second skin for him – as if it has completely changed his outlook of life. Behind him, the two male humans were laughing and sharing the stories with the other two asuras, with one asura pulling a rope that was connected to ankles of another male, who was screaming and baying for his life, practically, while the rest were laughing more at this. “GUYS!!! THIS IS WRONG!!!” The bound man shouted, looking tepid and looking like his life has been drained off from him. “No, this is just fun.” The asura pulling the rope said, giggling with mirth. “WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?” “Bitch, because I’m famous. Don’t you see my flowery diva road?” “NO!” “Treeps.” Jebs said, trying to keep his amusement in check, although he was failing spectacularly. “This is for your own good.” “THIS IS NOT FOR MY OWN GOOD!” “It is!” Senju said, laughing hard at the sight. “I mean, the dress look good on you.” Treeps was bound on his ankles and wrists and was dragged slowly behind the party. He was alleviated with the help of Jeb’s magic carpet. What was funny was that Shadow forcefully puts him in another wedding dress from the same source, as the poor officer was pulled along in Lion’s Arch, screaming and crying for his life. “IT DOESN’T! THIS IS MEAN TO MUZICAL!” Treeps cried. “Calm down.” Tyler chuckled. “You look great, Treeps.” “NO I DON’T! YOU GUYS ARE INSANE!” “Treeps.” Demonbane said, his pompous foppish voice evident. “Insanity is required for joining the Angry Army. You know this.” “NOOOOOOO!!!” Treeps lets out a very pained howl. “MUZICAL!!! XIO!!! HELP ME!!!” “Well.” Senju said, chuckling with mirth as he looked at the other four. “I think it’s safe to agree that we want Demonbane to read the credo at the next guild mission.” “YES!” The three said in unison, as Demonbane chuckled. “Well,” The charr said. “We’ll have to see about that.”