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Found 3 results

  1. Fuck you game. Fuck you. Alright, so where the hell do I start? How about the fact that this game has MASSIVE potential, but the game decided to fuck that potential and just go for being the most bland and the most annoying game ever? There is no fucking story in this game. But from what I can gather, I think you are just some random planet explorer that got stranded in 1 out of a billion random planet this game generates, the whole galaxy is controlled by these "sentinels", an entirely robotic race that controls everything because........ they're evil, and from here on it's up to you to decide what you want to do. The game THINKS it has a story by making you either visit the center of the galaxy, or visit these giant monoliths in different galaxies, like the one shown in the game's logo, and it tells you to go to 10 of them to get to the end. BUT OHOHOHOHOHOHO, fuck that. You think you will get any kind of reward after you do that?? Stick around to find out how worthless it all is! The gameplay of this game is the most basic of basic can ever be. It's basically a resource gathering game like Minecraft, but it's much2 more bland and boring. Your space ship is broken at the beginning of the game, and you have to find a bunch of resources scattered in the planet that you are in to fix it. Plutonium can be gathered by destroying red crystals all over the planet, iron for your ship shield from different rocks, and a bunch of other materials that's around the planet. You have a gun which is a part of a "multitool", but this piece of shit is pathetic. At least until you get the much better multitool later on in the game. Look at that. THAT is beautiful. Your multitool can be upgraded until it is equipped with loads of upgrades that has 3 forms: a mining laser a machine gun a grenade launcher The grenade launcher is the best weapon in the game, because it's really damaging, and it can destroy any walls. So if you are stuck in a cave and want to get out quickly, just blow up the walls until you see the surface. Sounds good right? WEELLLLL, no it isn't actually. Because all you will ever use these multitools for are for mining and shooting repetitive amounts of robot sentinels that for some reason, always trying to kill you even though all you do in this game is just mining for shit. And they are mostly these annoying flying shit Only rarely will you ever find the more advanced robots, like a dog and this bipedal monster And when I mean rarely, I mean only 5 minutes out of 30 hours. If you are as unlucky as me. I have played this game forever and I haven't found these giant robots. BULLSHIT! Anyway, once you have repaired your ship, the game's more unique feature is presented to you. You can instantly fly into space, and visit other planets seamlessly. You don't have any loading, what you see is what you get. Looks good huh?? Well that is until you realize that in every single planet, you are doing the exact same thing as the planet that you are in before. Over. And over. And over again! So what can you do in these different planets? Well a couple actually. Besides looking for resources, you can 1) Visit different outposts scattered around the planet 2) Visit different monoliths that grants you new languages to use on different npcs 3) Visit distress signals from downed ships so you can get these ships which are most likely MUCH better than the piece of junk you have in the beginning of the game 4) Scan different plants and animals Actually it's just these 4 things. There are varieties of animals that you can scan, and there's different types of outposts. One outpost have these pods that gives you upgrade for your suit so it can get a new inventory slot, another outpost have an npc waiting for you to talk to him, and if you answer correctly what he wants from you, you'll get a new blueprint for either your ship or your suit. But every single planet you visit have the exact same buildings, and you will keep on doing these 4 things over and over again! So you can pretty much just stay in one planet and do everything that you will do in the other billions of planets you will visit. WHAT THE FUCK??? Space isn't any better either! All you do in space is visit different shops to sell all the materials that you have in your inventory to get money, which you will fill up so easily every single time because of the lousily limited inventory, blow up asteroids to get even more materials, or fight other space ships like innocent giant trade ships that does you no harm, or pirates that will pester you because you have materials that they want. That is it. That is the entire fucking game! You have the option of poison 1 = go into different planets and do the same thing over and over again poison 2 = go into space and do the same thing over and over again There is like I said, an end goal. 2 completely worthless goals actually: 1) To collect 10 Atlas stones from the floating monoliths scattered around the galaxy so you can create a new star. Or at least that's what it tells you, when in reality, IT DOESN'T MEAN JACK SHIT!! You can't even visit or modify this new star, you only get this message saying "oh, you just created a new star that some random person will visit one day", so what's the fucking point??? If you sell an Atlas Stone, you can get it back by trading with other ships in space stations which may have the stone for an outrageously expensive price, BUT WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT WHEN IT'S FUCKING WORTHLESS??????? 2) To reach the center of the universe by travelling a lot. And when you reach the center, YOU RESTART THE GAME ALL OVER AGAIN! Did I ever tell you the definition, of Insanity? Ehe, hehehehehe, HEHEHEHEHEHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Final verdict: I rather play Ride to Hell than play this game ever again. And I am dead. Fucking. Serious. And here's the best part: I don't even pay the outrageous $60 to get this game. My brother in law have this game, AND I STILL FEEL RIPPED OFF PLAYING THIS PIECE OF SHIT! FUCK THIS GAME!!!
  2. Game name House of 1,000 Doors: Palm of Zoroaster. Me made review before lost mind. http://angryjoeshow.com/ajsa/topic/22025-house-of-1000-doors-palm-of-zoroaster-review-worst-game-i-have-played-this-year/ STAY AWAY FROM GAME. GAME MAKE YOU STUPID! IT MAKE NO SENSE! Flypaper use to kill big man eating plant! Use bird feather = wipe off dust! Puzzles = boring "find 15 objects among piles" every time! Me brain huuuuuurrrrrrrttttttttttttssss
  3. Before you automatically start hating on me for ever thinking/feeling that way about the game, I'd like to say that I did enjoy some of the aspects of the game. In survival mode, it's fun at the beginning, because you have the end-goal of surviving, which then leads you to making various farms, shelters, storage units and so on. I even liked defeating the ender dragon when I finally found him. Although, after doing all that stuff, I didn't find any point of doing anything. Even though I'm generally not into PVP, I did try lots of different kinds of servers with their own unique play style (PVP, survival, islands, guilds, towns, mini-games, twilight forest, etc.). I was able to hold my interest, and enjoy, the game during the relatively "short" times that I was in survival mode (whether modded or not), progressing towards the end goal of "survival maintenance". I'd build all kinds of different practical things every time I found a new place, but then I would completely lose interest after I'm "set for life" in the game. Generally, I need practical goals to a rewarding end; and it has to be an actual reward, even if it's something like a rank or achievement title (although, practical rewards are best). Doing something, in itself, should not be it's own reward in my opinion. In creative mode of the game, and after the whole "survival maintenance" situation in survival mode, there's no point of me doing anything, beyond just showing-off some visually-appealing creations. Mini-games have a certain short-lived charm, but the game's PVP (exploited greatly in "hunger games" servers) generally sucks. The PVP is usually based on luck, since you basically open random chests to get whatever's inside and hope that the items can help you survive through the massacre. Even when you're equal to your opponent, it all comes down to spamming the same key, hoping that you've hit the guy more than you've been hit, based at least partially on server responses and delays/lag. There are way better well-known PVP games out there that you can enjoy for free. Honestly, I totally "get" the charm of Minecraft overall. To put it simply, it's a virtual and more modern version of building block toys (e.g. Lego's)., where you can potentially build anything to your heart's desires. I've seen great videos and photos of people's creations online. Things can get pretty impressive. But that's pretty-much where it ends for me. If you so happen to adore Minecraft, then by all means, go ahead and spend endless hours trying to build an entire living planet; and go ahead and upload that stuff to YouTube or whatever. Meanwhile, I'm gonna stick with games that revolve around specific goals (at least for the most part).